


My Disaster

by Skyshadow3246, Wolfloner



Series: Finding Beauty in Negative Spaces [6]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Arguing as communication, Fluff, FrostIron - Freeform, I Don't Even Know, I hope someone else enjoys this, It was stuck in my brain and I wanted to get it out, M/M, References to Norse Religion & Lore, Tony/Loki - Freeform, i just wanted to write this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-20 08:05:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14890715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyshadow3246/pseuds/Skyshadow3246, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfloner/pseuds/Wolfloner
Summary: Tony ran a hand over his face. He hadn’t slept in three days, and when he finally did, he got woken up to this. Fantastic. “Really? Because I feel like I understand damn well what happened there. How about I run through what I think happened, and you stop me when I hit whatever it is I missed. Sound good?”





	My Disaster

_ So don't let me down again, praise me, free me _

_ So don't let me down again, you're key to my disaster _

_ So don't let me down again, blame me, bleed me _

_ So don't let me down again, you're key to my disaster _

-Seether,  _ My Disaster _

 

Tony had been promised screaming, and Loki was always one to deliver. With blades, teeth, and nails, Loki dug into his flesh until Tony was little more than a hoarse sobbing mess. He healed the worst of it as he worked, and when he was done, Tony honestly couldn’t tell how much time had passed. When Loki magicked away the ropes, he caught Tony in one arm with inhuman ease, holding him close.   
  
“Close your eyes,  _ Ulfr _ .” Tony was too far out of it to argue, but he did recognize the weird non-feeling of Loki’s apparent preferred method of travel.

 

“Wha’zat?” He murmured against Loki’s shoulder, once they were back in his room.

 

Loki got Tony settled into their bed. “Drink this, and I’ll explain,” Loki said as he pressed a glass of orange juice into Tony’s hand.

 

“Don’t have to bribe me,” Tony complained, as he sipped at the juice.

 

“That was a...realm between realms, for lack of a better phrase,” Loki explained. “Time and distance are largely meaningless there.”

 

“Magic?” Tony asked.

 

“Mmhmm.” Loki tore open a packet of cookies and passed them over to Tony. 

 

“Why do you keep telling me to close my eyes when we go through?”

 

Loki tensed. “I was concerned that it might bring back some...unpleasant memories.”

 

Tony silently ate two cookies as he considered that. “Fair,” he agreed, shoving as many thoughts of  _ space _ aside as he could manage. He didn’t have the energy for  _ that _ right then.

 

“How are you feeling?” 

 

Tony paused, trying to take inventory. His throat was sore, as were the places where he’d thrashed against the ropes holding him to the tree. His back had also definitely felt better. “Sore?” He offered. “Tired...but not… bad.” And that was true. He hurt, but it wasn’t  _ pain _ and it wasn’t  _ injury _ .

 

Loki glanced around the room, “Do you need anything else?”

 

Tony patted the bed beside him. “You?”

 

Loki crawled up the bed and settled down against Tony’s side, his hand resting protectively across Tony’s stomach. They were silent for several minutes, just listening to each other’s breathing, when Loki finally whispered, “Thank you.”

 

Tony smiled and rolled onto his side, facing Loki. “Can I ask you something?”

 

“Anything.”

 

And if that wasn’t one hell of a gift. “How old are you?”

 

Loki frowned. “Old, by your standards.”

 

“That’s not really an answer. You said you were there when my ancestors crawled out of the oceans? That was…” Tony paused.  _ Millions of years ago? _

 

“I can’t answer, because I don’t know.” Loki explained. “Time doesn’t move the same across the realms.” He idly traced one of Tony’s ribs as he thought. “In humans terms, I’ve lived for at least a few thousand years.”

 

“A few…” Tony let out a long breath and closed his eyes. 

 

“Why are you so concerned with that?” Loki asked.

 

_ Because I’m going to die _ , Tony didn’t say. “I’m not. I was just...curious, that’s all.” When he opened his eyes, he saw Loki frowning at him.

 

“You can’t lie to me, Stark.”

 

“It’s stupid, don’t worry about it. I’m just being... _ human _ .”  _ Insignificant. Forgettable. A fucking footnote. _

 

Loki didn’t reply, leaving Tony to his thoughts, and eventually some restless sleep.

 

When Tony woke the next morning, the other side of the bed was empty, and Loki was nowhere to be found.

 

* * *

  
  


Tony didn’t see Loki again for three days. 

 

Loki reappeared as suddenly as he had disappeared, laying next to Tony in their bed.

 

“What the? Lo--” Loki rolled over and was clinging to him. He buried his face against Tony’s shoulder, his breathing erratic. “Loki?” Tony tried again. Loki didn’t respond except to dig his fingertips into Tony. Tony was at a loss, because this was aberrant behavior. Loki was given to affection at times, but this… this wasn’t affection. It was closer to panic. “Loki, what the fuck?” 

 

“You’re unbelievable.” Loki muttered against his chest.

 

“Ok?”

 

“You’re so fucking...fragile, and breakable and what in Hel were you thinking?”

 

Tony blinked. At least they were communicating, he supposed. “I think a lot of things, you’re going to have to be way more specific.”

 

“In the woods.”

 

“The woods?”

 

“What were you thinking?”

 

“Um…” Tony attempted to sit up, and when he did he realized that Loki was shaking. “Are we arguing? Because if so you have to let me wake up a little bit, first. Maybe get some coffee.”

 

“You stupid, insolent--” Loki grabbed his shoulders with bruising force.

 

“Hey.” Tony pushed Loki off to the side, knowing full well that it only happened because Loki let him. “Ok, you’re upset. I don’t know why. Can I at least know  _ why _ you’re pissed off at me?”

 

“You don’t even understand--” Loki was snarling at him.

 

“No. I obviously don’t!” Tony shouted him down. “Are you fucking serious right now? You fucking disappear for three days, show up shaking and pissed off and yelling at me? What is  _ wrong  _ with you?”

 

Loki looked taken aback. “Three days?” That news just seemed to distress him further. “I’m sorry.”

 

“Are we going to talk like adults, or are we going to fight?” Loki didn’t respond. “What don’t I understand?”

 

“Anything, apparently.”

 

“Jesus Christ… this  _ is  _ about the woods, right?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Tony ran a hand over his face. He hadn’t slept in three days, and when he finally did, he got woken up to this. Fantastic. “Really? Because I feel like I understand damn well what happened there. How about I run through what I think happened, and you stop me when I hit whatever it is I missed. Sound good?” Loki was still shaking, and his breathing wasn’t right, but he didn’t argue so Tony pressed on. “We visited a shine--to you. You freaked out about it. We had a little disagreement about your fucking self-worth. Then, let’s see, I let you tie me up,” Tony held up his thumb, “choke me,” index finger, “bite me a few times,” middle finger, “I think some of what you did probably counts as stabbing me. How am I doing so far?”

 

“How could you let me?”

 

“Let you...let you what, Loki? I need something to go on, here.” Tony wasn’t sure how long they stared at each other. It felt like minutes, but it probably wasn’t.

 

“You don’t understand the  _ weight _ of what you did. You let me defile you.  _ Desecrate you _ . And you didn’t even know--”

 

“I knew what I was doing.” Tony set a hand on Loki’s head. “Blood sacrifices and all that shit, right?” Loki’s eyes snapped up his face, going wide. “I figured I liked that option better than Thor’s suggestion of-”

 

“Thor?”

 

“Yeah, I guess sacrificing animals was more the style back in the day but--”

 

“You talked to  _ Thor _ about that?”

 

“What? Oh, no. Well...yes. Sort of? Not in any detail, and he sure as hell doesn’t know what we did.” Tony felt a measure of unease that he couldn’t explain at the idea of Thor finding out about they’d done. “I had just asked him what people used to do for gods.”

 

“You did what? You were  _ planning _ that?”

 

“Uh, planning might be too strong of a word, but...yeah? I mean, I didn’t know about the whole… you giving humans blood thing, but it still seemed fitting, and I didn’t think you’d really appreciate me killing an animal--” 

 

Loki was on him, then. Biting and kissing and clutching at him. “You’re unbelievable.”

 

“So you said.”

 

Loki rested his head back on Tony’s shoulder. “You’re an idiot.”

 

“You said that, too.”

 

“That was sacrilege.”

 

“I’m fine with that.”

 

Loki let out a weak laugh. “You are, aren’t you?” He pulled back. “Fine. That's decided, then. I’m going to leave, for a little while. I’ll be back as soon as I can. There’s something I need to get.”

 

“What?” Tony just stared at him. “Don’t you at least want to stay the night, or something? You look like you need the rest.”

 

“I’m fine. I promise. I’ll be right back.”

 

* * *

  
  


“Right back” apparently had variable definitions. By the end of a week Tony had shifted to living in his workshop. In that first week Tony had designed three bows, four arrows, two shields, and a completely new arm for Bucky (It would never see any use, but that was fine). During the second week Tony felt he had nearly perfected the suit he was designing for Pepper. It was the middle of the third week, when Tony was deep in research on different tea blends, a favor for Bruce, that JARVIS interrupted him. 

 

“Sir, I believe your presence is needed on the 49th floor.”

 

“Whatever is happening, they can deal with it without me, JARVIS.”

 

“I must insist, Sir. It appears that Loki has returned, and the situation may escalate into violence.”

 

That had Tony’s attention. He was on the scene as fast as the elevator could get him there, and what a scene it was. He could see a crumpled form in black and green near an open window, most likely Loki. Clint was on the other side of the room, an arrow knocked and drawn. Thor stood between the two, which wasn’t surprising. What was surprising was Bucky kneeling next to Loki, his hand on Loki’s shoulder, but looking ready to vault across the room and break Clint’s hand if he needed to. Steve was standing off to the side, telling Clint to stand down. If things came to blows, Tony knew that Steve would stand with Bucky. Natasha was more of the wild card, but she looked calm, and was sitting on the couch, just watching to see what was going to happen.

 

“What  _ the fuck _ is going on?” That seemed like as good a way as any to announce his presence.

 

“Your fucktoy over there,” Clint started, not moving from his position, “decided that the best way to enter the tower was by turning into a  _ bird _ .” 

 

“You know my brother is a shapeshifter.” Tony was relieved to see that Thor hadn’t drawn Stormbreaker, at least. 

 

“Yeah, and I’m not all that fond of it, either.”

 

Tony’s eyes fixed on Loki, who seemed to be doing his best to stay as small as possible. Was he injured? “Put the bow down, Merida.” Tony stepped in front of Clint, not right in front of the arrow, but close enough that he thought for a moment that he might just turn and aim at him instead.

 

Clint finally lowered his bow, his eyes still not leaving Loki. “I won’t hesitate, next time.” He stood up straight and, not looking anyone in the eye, marched out of the room.

 

Loki muttered something in Russian that made Natasha tense, and Bucky laugh. Loki stood up carefully, clutching a small canvas sack to his side. He jerked his head towards the elevator, and seemed to assume Tony was just going to follow him. Which, he was, but still.

 

“Since when is three weeks, “I’ll be right back?” Tony asked as the elevator rose to his penthouse. 

 

“Was it three weeks?” Loki asked. “My apologies, Stark. I hadn’t meant to be gone that long.”

 

“Where did you go?”

 

“I needed to procure something.”

 

“Something...like what?”

 

“A gift.”

 

Tony glanced at the sack, “You got me a gift?”

 

Loki’s fingers tightened around the sack, “I got me a gift.”

 

Tony rolled his eyes. ‘Why does that sound dubious?”

 

Loki laughed, shifting to the side to brush their shoulders together. “You’ll like it, too.”

 

Loki lead them to the bedroom, and gestured for Tony to sit. Tony let out his best put upon sigh as he sat on the edge of the bed. With a flourish--ever the showsman--Loki reached into the sack and held out the item. “You got an apple?” Tony asked, quirking his eyebrow. Admittedly, it was a lovely golden apple, and from his angle it looked perfectly smooth and unblemished.

 

Loki deflated a little, “You have no idea what this is, do you?”

 

“Besides an apple?” Tony leaned forward to get a better look, and was slightly surprised when Loki let him take it. He rolled it in his hands, and looked at it from every angle. “Yeah, no clue. What else is it?”

 

Loki joined Tony on the edge of the bed, looking solemn.  “It is one of Iðunn’s Apples,” Loki explained. At Tony’s blank look, he continued, “It grants health and longevity.”

 

Tony mused over Loki’s words for a moment. “Longevity?” He blinked, something slotting into place in his mind, “Longevity, like… me not dying in thirty years?”

 

“Like you not dying in three  _ thousand _ years.”

 

Tony gaped at him. “Why?”

 

“As you may have noticed, Stark, you humans are ridiculously short lived. A soft breeze can kill you.”

 

Tony shoved him gently, “No, asshole, why  _ me _ ?”

 

“Is this you being serious again?” Loki smirked at him. “I told you, didn’t I? You’re mine. I can’t very well have my belongings dying off after barely a hundred years, can I?”

 

“Oh.” Tony stared down at the apple in his hand, then up to Loki’s eyes, then back to the apple. “You were serious.” He turned the apple in his hand a few more times, “You meant forever.”

 

Loki tensed next to him. “You don’t have to, of course.” Tony looked up at his strained voice. “I’m also not fond of the idea of keeping you around unwillingly.”

 

“I didn’t say no.” Tony rushed out. “This is just...sudden. And a lot. And honestly I’ve been expecting to die before I’m 50, so this is…” 

 

Loki plucked the apple from Tony’s hand. “Wait, then. Think on it.”

 

“Don’t need to. My answer is yes.”

 

“Stark.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“You’d be stuck with me--”

 

“Yes.”

 

“--for thousands of years--”

 

“Still yes.”

 

“--and functionally immortal--”

 

“Are you trying to talk me out of this, Loki?”

 

“No. But I do want you to understand what you’re agreeing to.”

 

“You want me to know what I’m agreeing to,  _ after _ you go off and, I can only assume, steal an immortality-granting apple?”

 

Loki paused, considering Tony’s statement. “This wasn’t my most thought out plan,” he agreed. 

 

Tony grinned at his small victory. “You never really answered my question, though. Why me?”

 

Loki stood up, tossing the apple into the air and catching it gracefully. “Because of the woods.”

 

“Because I’m a sacrilegious, masochistic heathen?”

 

“You’re no heathen,” Loki corrected. “You don’t worship me.” He walked back over to Tony, spreading his legs so he could stand in the space between them. “You refuse to see me as anything other than an equal.”

 

“That’s what you got from the woods?” Tony asked, feeling like maybe Loki had missed the point he’d been trying to make.

 

“You said it yourself. The feeling is reciprocal. You want your essence burned into me as badly as I want to burn myself into you.”

 

“I…” Tony swallowed. “I would never have phrased it that way, but yeah, ok.” He grabbed Loki’s hips. “Is that what that apple’ll do? Burn your essence into me?”  _ And what does that actually mean? _

 

“No. That part can come later.” 

 

Tony leaned forward to rest his forehead on Loki’s chest, considering. “Will I be a god?”

 

Loki chuckled. “No, you’ll still just be a human. Just an extraordinarily long-lived human.”

 

“Will it hurt?”

 

Loki ran long fingers through Tony’s hair. “Of course not. Why would it hurt?”

 

_ Because good things always hurt _ , Tony didn’t say. “That just always seems to be the trade-off, in stories. Someone gets immortality, but the price is something terrible.” Tony lifted his head up to meet Loki’s gaze.  _ Because good things don’t happen to me. _ “Because I don’t see the downside to this.”

 

“I suppose the “downside” if there is one, is that you’re making a deal with the devil.”

 

Tony scoffed, “You’re not the devil, Loki.”

 

Loki fixed him with his best wicked grin, “Aren’t I?” Loki pressed closer, forcing Tony’s legs further apart. “A speaker of untruths, an embodiment of chaos, a selfish creature who thrives on deceit and malice.”

 

Tony rolled his eyes at him. “You’re dramatic enough to be the devil, I guess.” He glanced over to the apple again. “So, can I just eat it now, or what?”

 

“I’d prefer you wait. At least a day.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I haven’t seen you for several weeks, and the apple will likely cause you to sleep.”

 

“Oh.” Tony frowned slightly. “So, sex now, functional immortality after?”

 

“Agreed.”

**Author's Note:**

> You can follow me on tumblr, [@Haarii-the-quilava](https://haarii-the-quilava.tumblr.com/) if that’s your thing! :D


End file.
